Sunday, May 25, 2008

Because I'm a poet.

Low and out. Split down the pipe. He was throwing a hell of a game. Carl Mays was pitching for the Yankees at the Polo Grounds against the visiting Cleveland Indians. Mays was a submarine-style deliverer. His arm would swing out to his side and chuck the ball to the plate. He would throw the ball from so low that his knuckles occasionally kicked up a cloud of dirt off the mound. Mays was notorious for ‘processing’ the ball. His routine was scooping up some dirt and grinding it into the hide. He would then spit out some tobacco juice on it for flavor. The process made the ball darker and balmy, perfect for a spitball from hell. Not only would the batter lose the ball, if he was lucky to catch a glimpse of it the ball would kick back inside and ocassionally brush the batter's jersey. Mays was slick and knew how to keep batters off his plate and give him quite a strike zone to work with. It was the Dead Ball era of baseball. One game, one ball, no matter how dirty it got. This made hitting the ball quite a feat, because it got so hard to see.
Bill Wambsganss of the Indians led off the inning. Mays scratched the ball with his thumbnail. Using the new friction, he manufactured a fastball low and outside Wambsganss’ strike zone. Wambsganss went for it, regardless. The contact was smooth and true. The ball sailed over the shortstop and fell short of the sprinting centerfielder. An easy jog to first gave the Indians their first hit of the afternoon. Wambsganss was a weasel. He loved stealing bases. He glanced over at second and saw that the only obstacle he faced was a second baseman kicking the dirt. Mays faced his new opponent, Ray Chapman. Ray, the respected shortstop, had an open batting stance, loose and ready for the bunt. Ray was a sacrifice player, he never hesitated to hit short to allow the runner on base to score at the expense of his out at first. His first pitch hit the dirt early and Wambganss bolted to second. Mays shook it off, just a blemish on an otherwise great game. Now was a situation Ray could bunt and let Wambganss come closer to home.
Tris Speaker, the player-manager of the Indians, tapped his belt twice and brushed his ear. Ray took from these gestures the signal to go ahead and bunt. Ray nodded and stepped up to the plate. Mays’ fingers glided over the rawhide, looking for that sweet spot. He found that slickness he needed for his patented spitball. Ray looked at Mays’ glove, and gripped his bat. The pitch was delivered high and leaned towards Ray. Ray never saw the ball coming. The impact of the ball and Ray’s temple produced a sickening thud. Mays thought the ball was live and fielded it and threw the ball to first. Ray was on the ground and Speaker and Wambganss came rushing over to see how bad he was hurt.
“Shit.” Wambganss held his head with his hands, not sure what to do with Ray.
“Ray! Goddamn it! Ray!” Speaker tripped on the dugout stairs and scrambled to Ray. All anybody could do, and all anybody did was stand around Ray. He coughed up some blood and was breathing. A couple of the Indian’s athletic trainers made their way to the plate. They settled Ray onto a stretcher and took him to an ambulance. Ray was unconscious and had trouble breathing. It was awful. Ray Chapman never woke up and was buried at Lakeview Cemetery, down the road from the home of the Indians, League Park.

Speaker sat back in the chair behind the desk of the Indian’s clubhouse. He had a roster change form to send to the Commissioner of Baseball. Ray Chapman was the first name that stood out and he crossed it out with a heavy pen. He still couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to. To make sure this was all real he looked at the black wristband he wore. It was identical to the ones worn by the rest of the Indians.
“Damn it, Ray.” Tris sighed somewhat severely. It was a reminder of what the team lost, but, more importantly, what the team is playing for, the American League pennant. The race for that top spot and the honor to play in the World Series was intense. The Red Sox were a perennial winner and now the White Sox were hot and ready to take first.
The Indians were distracted. Ray’s absence left the Indians scrambling for a replacement and the ordeal led to the Red Sox and even the lowly Tigers sweeping the Indians in the next two series. The season was waning and the Indians needed to get back on track. The final series of the season came in a heartbeat. The Chicago White Sox came to play, and they brought Shoeless Joe Jackson. Tris Speaker, the Grey Eagle, was playing deep in the outfield. He was Grey because he had premature thinning hair. He was the Eagle because he played sharp and brutal. He was often compared to the Pittsburgh legend, Honus Wagner. Speaker always brushed this praised off. He played to win and he won a lot. He was a part of the 1915 World Series champs, the Boston Red Sox, so he was used to winning when he came to the Indians. Today was nothing new for Speaker. The Indians simply had to win this game, this inning, to win the pennant. He cracked his neck and settled into position. Shoeless Joe was up to bat. Joe was famous for cracking line drives. Of course, he hit a laser out to center field. It was going to go over Speaker’s head, over the fence even. The Eagle took flight and ran with the ball, glove high. Somehow, he caught it, His momentum slammed him in the concrete wall waiting for him. He was knocked out cold, but the ball remained in his glove, in a vice-like grip. And like that ball, the pennant was clinched by the Indians.
The World Series is the stage where the best of the National and American leagues come to show their stuff. The Brooklyn Robins were the champs of the National League, and they would be Cleveland’s opponent in the series. Robins’ owner Charlie Ebbets was a gentleman and allowed Cleveland to play Joe Sewell as Chapman’s replacement, even though the replacement was made after the roster dedication deadline. Game one of the best-of-nine series was a pitching duel between Stan Coveleski and Rube Marquard. Coveleski was a machine. A mad one at that. He was so precise and sharp, he had catchers use a new glove every couple weeks. His opponent Marquard was a nice guy. His head may have been in the clouds a bit too high, but he could throw the bean. He even stopped the game to watch some fire engines go by. The Indians manage to bring one run in to win it. Game two belonged to the Robins courtesy Grimes’ spitball deliveries. When the Robins won game three as well, the Indians bit their lip.
League Park was empty besides Tris as he walked to the pitcher’s mound. He was looking for something, anything. He stood on the mound and looked over at the outfield. He read the ‘Remember Ray’ banners the fans posted. He could hear their cheering echoing from the stands. He kicked some dirt and felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Wambganss.
“Come on, Bill, it’s late, get some sleep you jackass.”
“Coach, you don’t need to pray to heaven or anything. There’s no way those shit-for-brains Robins are taking what’s ours.” He left on that note and threw over his scarf for emphasis.

Speaker commanded the attention of his ball club when they arrived to play game four. The weather was awful. It was raining and it was cold. The Eagle wasn’t fazed at all. He looked deep into the young eyes and gave only a few words to play by. Remember Ray, play like he’s watching, because he is, and he couldn’t be prouder. The inspiration led to a pillage of the Robins, heading tied two games apiece into game five. Game five would forever be chronicled in the hearts and souls of the Indians and their fans. Grimes was pitching for the Robins again. He went into the game to keep the ordeal scoreless. Those plans were crumpled up and tossed in the bin when the first three hitters he faced each popped singles to load the bases. Elmer Smith, the hardest hands in baseball, was up now. He easily smacked the ball over the left field fence in a grand slam everyone saw coming. This was a gut punch in the Robins’ hopes of being competitive in this series. Without mercy, the Indians had a brutal defense as well. Wambganss recorded an unassisted triple play, about as rare as a perfect game. The ball lined out into his glove and he touched second and tagged the runner who cursed himself for running so far ahead. The Indians lifted Wambganns and he tipped his hat to Ray.
“Don’t get cocky fellas, we only have 3 games on those guys.” Tris reminded them of the best of nine series. “You get cocky, you get stupid.”
“Come on coach, relax and have a beer!” Wambganns led the Indians to the tavern down the street. Speaker massaged his temples and went to go sleep in his office.
The next two games were quick pitcher duels and the Indians took both to win five games to two over Brooklyn. Speaker was the quietest one at the celebration on the field after game seven. He shook hands, sipped some champagne and simply smiled. He knew the team was helpful, but it was Ray Chapman who won the World Series. Chapman was just bunting soft to right again. The Indians ran home while he got caught out at first. That was the life of a sacrifice hitter.

Enhanced Harddrive

I found about this a while ago. There isn't much to say its site says it all. I personally think that this is amazing.
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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

look.

Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're never there
But when I sleep you're everywhere
You're everywhere

Just tell me how I got this far
Just tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
you're never there
And every time I sleep
you're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that
you might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I am not alone
Whoa, oh, oooh, oh

And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath
it's you I breathe
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Apu - That's the problem with your religion, it's such a bummer.

Flanders - Even the sing-a-longs?

Apu - No, the sing-a-longs are ok.

Monday, May 5, 2008

We Have a Problem

Look, we seem to be using a lot of space, I just wanted to say, well...

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Sunday, May 4, 2008

For your reading pleasure...

This is my screenplay.

I have only an opening, a climax and a closing.

It is MINE. Any copying and pasting without my permission is prohibited. Copyright Andrew Gabany.

The Fallen Sword

EXT. TOKUGAWA PALACE – SUN

There is a peaceful scene with birds flying over a huge palace with immense steps with red pillars on each side leading up to a grand building with the traditional Japanese curved roofs. The wooden doors are inlaid with gold and silver.

INT. TOKUGAWA PALACE

Inside the structure there is a great space with marble floors and black pillars. There are seven men around a great throne where a grandiose man rests. One other man beside the throne holds up a white fan with a black flower on it.

SCRIBE
Shogun Tokugawa Yoshinobu speaks!

The scribe retreats and sits on a couch in the corner of the room. The grandiose man in the throne clears his throat and adjusts himself in his seat.

TOKUGAWA
Thank you, SCRIBE. Greetings, my loyal vassals. I have summoned you to discuss the progress on our, ahem, confrontation with Emperor Meiji. HEIHACHI TOGORO, what news do you bring from our campaign at Aizu?

A man in traditional, ceremonial armor approaches the throne. He kneels, lowering his head. He then lifts himself, standing tall. He takes a deep breath.

TOGORO
Shogun, Aizu was a failure. The Byakkotai unit was wiped out, taking out minimal Imperial casualties. The naginata wielders, the women, my lord, were shown no mercy. The armies of Satsuma and Choshu were much too powerful. I’m deeply sorry to report such failure, Shogun.

TOKUGAWA gives a savage stare. His face reddens and he slams the arms of his throne. The blunt noise echoes throughout the palace.

TOKUGAWA
(Frustrated)
Damn it to hell! Those imperial rifles have put us up in smoke! This is the cost of westernization! We cannot let Japan give in to that democratic, capitalistic bullshit! This is the very death and decay we need to save Japan from! Ideas like bushido, bakufu, samurai, and even Shinto will be forgotten into the wind of those Imperial blowhards!

A silence echoes in the palace. TOGORO lowers his head and stares at TOKUGAWA’S feet. He purses his lips and exhales.

TOGORO
(Nervously)
Shogun, we cannot win this war, we should give ourselves up to Meiji. His forces are just-

TOGORO is silenced by a blade to his throat, held by a SAMURAI next to him.

SAMURAI
(Serious)
Do you not understand bakufu? It means the Shogun tells you what to do and you do it. No questions, no bullshit. If he told you to eat thunder and shit lightning, you damn well better do it, or you will be disposed of.

TOGORO turns his head slowly to TOKUGAWA. TOKUGAWA’S lack of expression makes TOGORO flinch. TOKUGAWA lowers his head. The SAMURAI pulls out his wakizashi and slashes TOGORO across the neck. The SAMURAI is careful to have the blood spatter away from the Shogun, as it lands on the floor. TOGORO’S decapitated head hits the floor before his body. TOKUGAWA raises his head and as if nothing had happened, continues.

TOKUGAWA
Samurai is pride, honor, and commitment to bakufu. It is bushido, the way of the warrior. Those who do not follow bushido and call themselves samurai are those without the right to live. You gentlemen are dismissed.

The six remaining men bow to TOKUGAWA. TOKUGAWA puts out a hand and the men retreat out the door. TOKUGAWA is alone and stares at TOGORO’S body.

TOKUGAWA (CON’T)
Scribe! [Pause] (Quietly) Get rid of this bastard…

EXT. STEPS OF TOKUGAWA PALACE - SUNSET

The six men are walking down the steps to their camps. One man clears his throat. The silence prevails until one man speaks.

SAMURAI

Our last hope to stay in this war against the Imperial regime is Hakodate Bay in Hokkaido. The naval forces we assembled there are about all we have left. If out steam boats can keep afloat long enough for those Imperial warships to run out of gunpowder, our blades can finally deliver Shogun TOKUGAWA some justice.

The men mutter agreements. At the bottom of the steps, the men pause to look out to the vista. We see camps and smoke from campfires. The samurai camps stretch out to the horizon. The sun is now setting over the horizon.

SAMURAI
Maybe Japan really is changing…from a feudal hell-hole ruled by TOKUGAWA, to a democratic one in the hands of Meiji. Needless to say, I hope I still got a job.

The men chuckle and go on to the camps for the night.

EXT. HOKKAIDO, JAPAN: THE BATTLE OF HAKODATE BAY – RAIN, NIGHT

Off the shore of Hokkaido, a naval battle rages on. There are several steam ships and an immense iron battleship. The iron battleship has soldiers on it with rifles. Some soldiers are operating mounted Gatling guns on the ship, shooting at the wooden steam ships. The wooden ships have armored warriors aboard. Each warrior has a katana, a wakizashi and a few have naginata. Several wooden ships have ladders. The warriors are desperately trying to mount ladders onto the big iron ship to flood warriors aboard to cut down the enemy soldiers. A wooden ship finally succeeds and a WARRIOR climbs up to the iron ship’s deck. He begins cutting down soldiers with his katana, intensely swinging. He kicks a soldier in the gut and slashes his back, and turns around to slash another across the throat. He shoves his katana behind him to stab an approaching soldier. He pulls out his wakizashi to cut down another soldier coming from his right. He puts away the wakizashi and goes to look for more victims. He runs across the deck.

WARRIOR
For Tokugawa!

A SOLDIER falls to the WARRIORS feet, holding his legs. The WARRIOR falls down, but gets up quickly and wields his katana. He looks down to see the SOLDIER in the fetal position.

SOLDIER
Please! We cannot fight! The gunpowder is soaked!

The WARRIOR stabs the SOLDIER and kicks him aside.

WARRIOR
No mercy for the merciless!

We see the wooden steam ships and the warriors aboard have chains with heavy steel balls at the end. A brave warrior carries the ball up a ladder attached to the iron ship. The warrior throws the ball aboard and kills some soldiers alerted by its presence. The warrior swings the ball around a mounted Gatling gun and yells to his brothers below. The warriors below pull on the chain and the Gatling gun falls into the sea. The warrior yells for victory but his exclamation is cut short by an enemy rifle that blows a hole in his torso, throwing his body overboard. The same soldier loads nearby cannon and takes aim at the wooden ship below. Meanwhile, the WARRIOR kills some more SOLDIERS on the deck. He turns and looks for his comrades only to see a cannonball pierce the ship and it explodes before his eyes. The WARRIOR sheathes his katana and falls to his knees and yells to the skies.

WARRIOR
Banzai!!

INT. MEIJI PALACE – SUN

A MESSENGER in ceremonial robes and wooden sandals opens huge, bejeweled doors. He walks briskly on a crimson carpet to a marble table where seven men are sitting. He gets on his knees, touching his head to the floor. He rises to his feet and looks at the young man sitting at the head of the table.
MESSENGER
(Solemnly)
Emperor Meiji, I have excellent news.

MEIJI
(Slightly annoyed)
Speak quickly, I have my council here and we have much to discuss.

MESSENGER
Emperor Meiji, the campaign at Hokkaido, The Battle of Hakodate Bay was an immense success. Tokugawa cannot fight any longer. The Shogunate has no more power.

MEIJI
Excellent. Relay this to the locality officers. Tell them Japan has finally bloomed once more.

MESSENGER
Right away, my lord. Thank you, Emperor Meiji.

The MESSENGER bows again and walks slowly backwards to the doors and closes them while bowing. As the doors close, the sound echoes through the room. Emperor Meiji cannot fight back a smile.

MEIJI
Gentlemen, we have Japan. She is finally free from feudal shackles and can now take flight and grow in the modern world that surrounds her. Gentlemen, I have sent this gentleman, Mr. Ito HIROBUMI, to Europe to research western political and social ideas for us to employ to help Japan grow. Now then, Mr. HIROBUMI, how was your trip?

A pleasant looking man scoots his chair a little closer to the table and he adjusts his

HIROBUMI
Pleasant, my emperor, thank you.

MEIJI
Could you briefly describe your findings?

HIROBUMI
Of course. During my stay in England, I conversed with members of the English parliament. It’s a form of legislation, made up of representatives of the people.

MEIJI
People vote for these representatives, HIROBUMI?

HIROBUMI
Precisely. The parliament is the English tool to have the voice of the people heard. In western politics, the support of the people is required to have any power. This makes for a system that has low corruption and high success.

MEIJI
Interesting. Now what about executive power?

HIROBUMI
The English monarch is the head of state; his power is kept under check by parliament. This balance of power certainly makes for the strong point in English philosophy. Stable governing leads to successful global relations. The dominance the English have in global trade is no doubt a result of its balanced governing.

MEIJI
Successful global relations are what Japan needed all along. That foolish Shogunate clipped Japan’s wings with that awful Sakoku policy of isolation and banning of foreign trade. That damn Sakoku… it was a cage that Japan had no choice but to rot in. Our westernization will open the cage, set her free.

HIROBUMI
Westernization seems to be an even more perfect solution than we had ever perceived, my emperor.

MEIJI
Our beloved Japan will finally grow into a united nation. A nation where the voice of the people is heard, a government untainted by specific loyalties, corruptions or personal agendas. We will be a shining nation.

The emperor stands up and goes toward a bonsai tree. He picks up a pebble and turns to his council. One man has stood up as well and approached MEIJI. His stubble on his chin and scar on his cheek reflect his personality.

MEIJI
Hitsugaya?

HITSUGAYA
Meiji, we have not gotten rid of the samurai.

MEIJI
Samurai? Those foolish sword-swingers?

HITSUGAYA
Meiji, as long as there are ideas like bakufu or bushido, the way of the warrior, Japan will hold tight to tradition. Tradition is a staple of life to our people, Meiji.

MEIJI
Japan will just have to adapt. Tradition is obsolete in this new world and we need to join the rest of the world in the advancing of the human race. This is bigger than Japan, Hitsugaya. Japan cannot be an island upon itself any longer and still expect to survive.

A severe hand from HITSUGAYA snatches the pebble from MEIJI’S hand. MEIJI’S shock ripples to the other council members. HITSUGAYA’S expression is fierce.

HITSUGAYA
The traditions of the Japanese people are like the pebble in my hand. It appears we put down pebbles in bonsai gardens for decorations, but do you know the actual purpose of the pebble?

MEIJI
(Shaken)
To keep the soil from blowing away with the wind…

HITSUGAYA
Do you see? We cannot have our western society when the people revere the social system that has been laid down for thousands of years. The samurai will not be easy to accept their sudden loss of status. If we want to have any hope of stability, we will have to give the samurai token positions of power in our government. They could be in power in their own localities, even.

MEIJI
(Offended)
Don’t be a damn fool! Japan will be a nation built on integrity, morality and justice. Morals are tradition as well, Hitsugaya.

HITSUGAYA
(Arrogant)
You’re the emperor, do as you please.

HITSUGAYA turns his back on the emperor and leaves the room. HIROBUMI approaches the emperor, slightly enraged by HITSUGAYA’S disrespect.

HIROBUMI
My emperor, when the Europeans went through a similar transition, some nations had to deal with rebellions led by those who lost their status.

MEIJI
Rebellions, Hirobumi?

HIROBUMI
The knights and warriors who lost their place in society rose to fight, utilizing the only skill they possessed.

MEIJI
Those rebellions were foolish and damned from the start.

HIROBUMI
This is not something to take lightly, Meiji. The rebellions had quite adverse affects on the developing democracies. The rebellions divided the people and led to more conflict. Our samurai problem will not go away if we ignore it. The samurai will face any foe with full force and not stop until they win. It is their way. It’s pride.

MEIJI has a look of disgust. He walks over to a wall where an imperial rifle is mounted. He takes the rifle off the wall and inspects it.

MEIJI
Do you think I know nothing of pride, Mr. Hirobumi?

MEIJI loads the rifle and points the barrel at HIROBUMI, who is shocked and speechless. The council sits still in their chairs, as if this was nothing out of the ordinary.

HIROBUMI
The flame of the samurai will not die quietly into the night!

MEIJI
Hirobumi, this is power now. A blade is a toy.

MEIJI unloads the rifle and remounts it onto the wall. He strolls back to his chair at the council table. MEIJI takes a deep breath and stares at HIROBUMI as he takes his seat as well. MEIJI regains his composure and clears his throat.

MEIJI
Gentlemen, let’s give Japan back her dignity.

EXT. RUSTIC VILLAGE, 10 YEARS LATER – DUSK

SHOT OF VILLAGE

The village has children running around and smoke rising from houses. The central square has people sitting by the well. On the other side of town people are throwing petals into the nearby stream.

SHOT OF ROAD

While the sun sets behind him, a man walks down a hill with a beaten path. There is a wooden fence to his right. A couple places on the fence, there are wooden signs that have a black sword painted on them with a red slash through the icon. The man scrapes his wakizashi on the fence as he walks. On his hip he wears another sword, a katana. He is wearing a faded purple cloak with a white geometrical pattern. The cloak barely covers what he wears underneath, a work shirt with his name, ICHIBAN, written on it in kanji. To ICHIBAN’S right, in the field, a FARMER calls out to him.

FARMER
Hey! Mr. ICHIBAN! How are you?

ICHIBAN
Hello MIYAGI. I’m fine, just getting home from work. How are you?

MIYAGI
I’m excellent, Mr. ICHIBAN. The harvest looks good this year. But then again, it always looks good; my wife makes sure of it.

MIYAGI combs back his hair with his hand and offers his hand. ICHIBAN gives a slight bow. MIYAGI pulls back the hand and bows as well. He looks at ICHIBAN’S katana and whistles.

MIYAGI
Still got that beautiful piece of steel, huh?

ICHIBAN
Of course, MIYAGI. It is a manifestation of my commitment to bushido. It’s as much a part of me as my arms and legs.

MIYAGI
Yeah, sure. I think you carry it because it makes you look like a badass. Haha!

ICHIBAN
That’s what comes with being a samurai, MIYAGI. Now, I must get home for PAN’S dinner.

MIYAGI
Who am I to keep a starving samurai back from dinner? Haha! Sayonara, ICHIBAN!

ICHIBAN
Farewell, MIYAGI.

ICHIBAN tips his hat and returns to the dirt road. He steps on a fallen wooden sign and continues downhill.

EXT. A VILLAGE DWELLING – AFTER DUSK

The dwelling is humble, there are clothes left on the line on the house and the wooden door is ajar. Light creeps out of the door, a warm aura.

INT. VILLAGE DWELLING

Inside, we see ICHIBAN eating with his wife and son. They all sit on pillows and eat off a low table. ICHIBAN rubs his SON’S unruly hair and smiles. He turns to his wife, PAN, who is also smiling.

SON
Father, how was your day?

ICHIBAN
It was fine, IEMOURI. Didn’t your mother tell you to go to bed?

IEMOURI
Yes, father.

IEMOURI frowns and stands up and waddles out of the room. ICHIBAN smiles and looks to his wife again.

ICHIBAN
Thank the spirits I have that job at the train station. Otherwise we would never be able to support IEMOURI.

PAN
We certainly are fortunate. Especially you getting a job, that’s wonderful. Some other former samurai weren’t so lucky.



ICHIBAN
I definitely recognize the plight of my brothers. It’s a shame how things had to happen for the Restoration to take place.

PAN
Have you heard the rumors, ICHIBAN?

ICHIBAN looks up at PAN and lowers his eyebrows.

PAN (CONT’D)
I hear talk of a samurai rebellion. It’s terrifying. They’ll just shake up the already insane world we live in.

ICHIBAN
(Annoyed)
Don’t believe everything you hear from those gossiping women.

ICHIBAN appears disturbed and stand up. He leaves the room and PAN stares at his empty pillow. ICHIBAN goes to IEMOURI’S room to find him already asleep. ICHIBAN looks at his son and closes his door. PAN approaches ICHIBAN from behind, holding his shoulders.

PAN
This whole thing just isn’t fair for IEMOURI. He has to live in this world we messed up for him.

ICHIBAN
(Frustrated)
Don’t say things like that. We’re in a transition. Life will be wonderful for IEMOURI.

PAN
I’m just a little frightened.

ICHIBAN
(Quietly)
You certainly have every reason to be.

ICHIBAN walks out of the house and brings his katana. He begins stretching and progresses to swinging his sword at the air around him. Each swing is complimented with a word from bushido.

ICHIBAN
(While swinging)
Gi! Yu! Jin! Rei! Shin! Meiyo! Chugi! Gi! Yu! Jin! Rei! Shin! Meiyo! Chugi!








CLIMAX

EXT. WIDE FIELD – SUN

The Satsuma samurai army is being led back from Kyushu back to Satsuma after the failure at Kumamoto castle. Yamagata’s Imperial army is in hot pursuit. He has an army 300,000 strong. At the front of about 500 men is SAIGO, a rather impressive man. His huge physique is complimented by a white beard and moustache, emitting a radiance of manliness. He carries a katana and wears a French uniform. A timid warrior approaches SAIGO.

WARRIOR
SAIGO?

SAIGO
Yes, samurai?

WARRIOR
Yamagata’s army… It’s the rest of Japan, right?

SAIGO
The size of an army means nothing.

WARRIOR
They have rifles, SAIGO. And five warships in Kagoshima… We just can’t win.

SAIGO
You have a lot of courage to speak your mind. Unfortunately, you lack any sense of bushido. You are useless to us, samurai, if you think we’re fighting to win a war.

WARRIOR
(Desperate)
Then what the hell are we fighting for?!

SAIGO
Honor. Is it not obvious?

The WARRIOR leaves SAIGO, horrified. SAIGO’S expressionless face maintains. ICHIBAN overhears the conversation and turns to the SAMURAI next to him.

ICHIBAN
My family is near Kagoshima… You don’t think…

ICHIBAN turns to the samurai marching next to him.

SAMURAI
Huh? I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t know about things like that.

ICHIBAN
What do you mean, don’t you have a family that’s worried for you?

SAMURAI
Oh, no. I don’t have anybody. I’m Ronin and just heard the news of this rebellion. Figured I’d swing my katana one more time. My name’s ASANO, by the way.

ICHIBAN
I am ICHIBAN, ASANO. I am from Reihanji, a village north of Kagoshima.

ASANO
I know that village, great teahouse there.

ASANO chuckles and looks over away from ICHIBAN. He turns his head back.

ASANO (CONT’D)
I don’t have a home; I’ve forgotten my origin a long time ago. You guys picked me up at Kumamoto.

ICHIBAN
I envy your situation; you have no one to feel pain about your death.

ASANO
You envy that? You envy being as remembered as a morning shit?

ICHIBAN is silenced. He grins a little and nods. ASANO laughs and shakes his head. He puts a hand on ICHIBAN’S shoulder.

ASANO (CONT’D)
I see where you’re coming from. You don’t want your family to be burdened by your memory.

ICHIBAN’S expression recedes a little. He smirks and nods. ASANO takes his hand back. The two men walk with the 500 others into the distance.




EXT. SHIROYAMA HILL – NIGHT

The Satsuma forces pitch camp for the night. The news is that Yamagata’s army is close and will discuss terms tomorrow. SAIGO is in his tent, planning. A SCRIBE runs to SAIGO’S tent.

SCRIBE
SAIGO! I have Yamagata’s letter!

SAIGO lifts his head from his maps and puts them aside.

SAIGO
Thank you, please read it.

SCRIBE
Yes, SAIGO.

The SCRIBE bows and sits down and unravels the document. He clears his throat and turns to SAIGO.

SCRIBE (CONT’D)
Mr. Saigo Takamori, this is General Yamagata Arimoto of the Imperial Army of Japan. We have stationed five warships in Kagoshima harbor and we have mobilized 300,000 troops around the area. [The SCRIBE pauses and stares at the paper, he continues reading, now with a shaken voice] Kyushu Island is thoroughly filled with Imperial forces. Your surrender to the Imperial Army of Japan is requested. You have three days to reply. Our forces will arrive at Shiroyama in five days.

The SCRIBE folds the document and lowers his head and walks out of the tent. SAIGO sighs and pulls over his maps. He tries to continue planning, but throws the papers to the ground. He calls for the SCRIBE

SAIGO
SCRIBE!

The SCRIBE scurries back to the tent and pops his head in.

SCRIBE
Yes, SAIGO?

SAIGO
Prepare to write my response to Yamagata. Also, summon BEPPU.

The SCIBE bows and goes to his tent to collect his pen and parchment. He returns with a man in armor to SAIGO and sits down and puts pen to paper.

SAIGO
General Yamagata Arimoto, this is Saigo Takamori. I will not surrender my army to you bastards and you will pay for humiliating me by making such a request. I am a samurai, have you heard of bushido? It is the way of the warrior, it is honor, and it is never backing down. Your 300,000 men is a manifestation of your fear, Yamagata. You are hiding behind the sheer size of your army, because you have failed plenty of times before. I will lose my army in five days, but you will not kill a single samurai. I know my head is a worthy prize, but you will never get it. Thank you, SCRIBE. Send that letter and leave BEPPU with me.

The SCRIBE, smiling, leaves the tent. BEPPU sits across from SAIGO.

SAIGO (CONT’D)
BEPPU, my most loyal follower, you are still by my side, of course.



BEPPU
I will follow you to the ends of the earth, my lord.

SAIGO
BEPPU, may the spirits lift you to the highest peak of heaven. You are a true samurai.

BEPPU
Why have you summoned me, SAIGO?

SAIGO
I will need a kaishakunin, BEPPU. I will not die by any other hand but yours.

BEPPU
I will do what is necessary to preserve your honor as well as mine.

SAIGO
Thank you, BEPPU; you may retire for the night.

BEPPU stands up and leaves the tent with the utmost seriousness. SAIGO stares at his lantern.

EXT. SHIROYAMA HILL-DAY

SAIGO is in his French uniform, addressing his army, all armor-clad and armed with katana, wakizashi and a few rifles. About a hundred soldiers are melting down bronze statues of Buddha to cast into more bullets for the rifles of the Satsuma army.

SAIGO
Satsuma! Attention! The metallurgy unit is making more bullets for the rifles we have. The battle will focus, however, on our blades. The combat will be close and very physical. The Imperial forces are not as trained as we are. We have to be defensive, concise and brutally sharp. I have a few samurai here who are scared.

SAIGO looks around at his men and seems to instill courage in them.

SAIGO (CON’T)
Samurai stands tall!

SAMURAI (ALL IN UNISON)
Gi!

SAIGO
Samurai never fears!

SAMURAI
Yu!

SAIGO
Samurai loves life and is charitable!

SAMURAI
Jin!

SAIGO
Samurai does not question his master!

SAMURAI
Rei!

SAIGO
Samurai pierces lies with blades of truth!

SAMURAI
Makato!

SAIGO
Samurai place honor above all else!

SAMURAI
Yo!

SAIGO
Samurai is loyal to his master, wherever he leads him!

SAMURAI
Chuu!

The samurai get rowdy and cheer and SAIGO smiles in appreciation at his band of samurai.

SAIGO
New government! High morality!

The roars get louder. The smoke and steam from the bronze melting and forming subsides. A horn is blown. The rifle-armed samurai get in line to get their ammo. The katana wielders retreat to their tents examine their weapons. The whole camp seems to wear a face of brutal concentration. The banners of Satsuma are raised and blow in the wind.

EXT. SHIROYAMA HILL – DAWN

SAIGO comes out his tent. The other tents have been put down and all the samurai are in lines of 10. BEPPU is at SAIGO’S side. He calls for the samurai’s attention. BEPPU pulls out his katana and holds it high. SAIGO looks down the hill. The Imperial forces have arrived and have the Satsuma forces surrounded. The 300,000 soldiers seem to have completely enveloped the 400 or so samurai warriors. An aerial view shows the samurai on a hill, surrounded by a black sea of imperial forces. Every samurai unsheathes their blade at Beppu’s command, the sound is for intimidating the enemy. The massive noise of steel being unsheathed echoes. SAIGO yells for his men to hold the hill.

SAIGO
Hold Shiroyama! Hold fire until I give the call! Never back down! Yo!

The roar of the samurai seems to be louder than the explosions that came with the Imperial forces. Immediately, a cloud of smoke persists everywhere from the rifle firing. The warships in nearby Kagoshima harbor begin to fire at the samurai. Samurai are flung into the air as thousands of shells rain on their stronghold. The few rifles of the Satsuma came out to meet the approaching forces of the Imperial Army. The Satsuma samurai killed many Imperial men, but the numbers were too heavy. The main objective of the samurai became to protect Saigo at any cost. Several other samurai hurtle down the hill with their blades to cut down the enemy. We see Ichiban and Asano charge at the Imperial forces with only katana.

ASANO
(Intense)
Let’s go Ichiban!

ICHIBAN
I’m right behind you, Asano!

The two expert swordsmen pierce through the Imperial wall, killing every soldier in their path. Asano cut down soldiers by taking them off their legs, letting them fall. Ichiban went right for the necks of his adversaries. The Imperial soldiers were hopeless when samurai got this close to them. They were only trained with rifles. An explosion deafens Ichiban, and he looks over to Asano, to see his torso ripped open. Asano falls to his knees.

ICHIBAN
(Screaming)
Asano! No! God, no!

Ichiban sprints to him, Asano can barely breathe, but manages to mouth the word ‘seppuku’. Ichiban nods and decapitates his friend. He has preserved his honor by doing so. Tears in his eyes, he kills and kills more soldiers. Ichiban’s one-man charge has led him to Kagoshima harbor. An Imperial rifle shoots him from behind and he falls to the ground. A man in a red cloak, disguised as an Imperial medic, pulls Ichiban to a nearby house. Back on the hill, samurai continue charging downhill into enemy fire, hurtling katana-first. Some make it to the soldiers and begin hacking away, killing as many as they possibly can. The rifles blow off the limbs of a few samurai, but some are so gung-ho, they keep running. The soldiers are hopeless when the samurai come close enough to slash at them. The sheer skill of the blade the Satsuma samurai have takes down about 10 soldiers for every fallen samurai. Saigo is seen behind a wall of samurai, alongside Beppu. Saigo is shot in the leg by a rifle and falls down, Beppu rushes to his side.

SAIGO
Beppu, find me a suitable place.

Beppu nods and picks up SAIGO and runs down the hill to a small forest. On his way hurtling down the hill, he is shot at multiple times and is hit once in the side. The adrenaline overrides the pain and he sets down Saigo. Saigo is already dead. Beppu yells out intensely and decapitates Saigo. Imperial forces seize Saigo and shoot Beppu multiple times. The samurai bodies are strewn across the hill, the Imperial forces have made quick work of the samurai and raise their rifles in victory.

INT. KAGOSHIMA HOUSE – NIGHT

An old man is washing Ichiban. He dries him off and lays him on a bed. The old man starts a fire and then begins bandaging Ichiban. Ichiban moans and wakes up to see the old man bandaging his right arm.

ICHIBAN
My arm… uh…

OLD MAN
Do not talk. You are very weak right now.

ICHIBAN
Who are…

Ichiban falls back asleep and the old man goes to other room to make some hot tea. The strong smell wakes up Ichiban again. He still seems disoriented, but accepts a cup of tea. He sips the tea and breathes heavily.

OLD MAN
You are very lucky, samurai. I have saved you from that battle. You were just about left for dead out there.

Ichiban realizes the dishonor he has now because he did not die out there. A defeated samurai must be a dead samurai in Ichiban’s mind.

ICHIBAN
You… saved me?

OLD MAN
Yes, yes, I know all about bushido. You will have to forgive me but I couldn’t let you die out there. For some reason, I had to save you. Besides, you did not have to die; you’re here now, right?

ICHIBAN
Damn you…

Ichiban is raged, but too tired to express much of it. He’s still exhausted, and falls back asleep. The old man sits in a chair beside him.

OLD MAN
Those samurai bastards are so damn crazy…


Ichiban dreams about his family and his life before joining the Satsuma samurai. His dream ends when a katana falls on a floor, echoing. Ichiban wakes up again and looks around the room. There are katana on the wall. He is shocked that there would be katana in a house owned by such an old man.

ICHIBAN
Hey! Where are you?

The old man comes in and bows to Ichiban.

OLD MAN
Hello, welcome to my house.

ICHIBAN
Who do you think you are, picking me up from the battlefield from which I was supposed to die? I have lost my honor. And I have you to thank for it. Explain yourself, old man.

The old man clears his throat, rolling with the punch he received from Ichiban. He sits down in a dark, wooden chair.

OLD MAN
My name is Ieyasu. I am a former samurai, but one that has adjusted to the restoration peacefully.

ICHIBAN
So you’re a traitor to bushido?

IEYASU
Not at all. I have simply moved my loyalty from Tokugawa to Meiji. It is natural to revere the emporer. He is divine, after all.

ICHIBAN
He has made you and your brothers worthless in society, how divine is that?

IEYASU
It is just. Samurai are powerful because they can kill anyone who challenges them. Death should not be tool wielded by man.

ICHIBAN
Shut up! You’re a traitor to bushido and robbed me of my honor!

ICHIBAN winces in pain from the outburst.

IEYASU
Are you really that bull-headed? Your yelling will tear open all your wounds. You’ll bleed to death. Don’t you see that life is precious? A gift from the spirits to hold on to tightly…

ICHIBAN
Life is temporary, honor is everlasting.

IEYASU
I see you’ve been effectively persuaded as such. Please drink your tea.

Ichiban listens to Ieyasu and drinks his tea slowly. The tea gives Ichiban energy rather quickly and impressively.

IEYASU (CONT’D)
When my life as a samurai ended, I became a medicine man. I put some real special herbs in that tea. It should clear your head and expedite your healing.

Ichiban looks at his cup and grimaces.
ICHIBAN
(Bitterly)
Thank you.

Ichiban lifts himself in the bed to sit up. His breathing is fast, it took a lot out of him to move. He catches his breath.

ICHIBAN (CONT’D)
Why did you abandon bushido so easily?

Ieyasu looks over to the corner of the room to gather some composure. He exhales and adjusts himself in his chair.

IEYASU
One cannot escape bushido. I still live to the code. I am loyal to the emporer, I am benevolent to others, I honor the gods, I respect my masters and I fear nothing.

ICHIBAN
Then how could you in good conscious strip me of my honor?

IEYASU
I cannot explain that. I am deeply disturbed too. I thought a kami whispered in my ear… It’s odd, I know. Perhaps your journey is not complete, samurai.

ICHIBAN
Divine intervention? Old man, are you serious?

IEYASU
Samurai do not lie. We pierce lies with a blade of truth.

ICHIBAN
That’s something Saigo Takamori says…

Ichiban frowns, realizing that Saigo’s body is probably strewn across the hill by now.

ICHIBAN (CONT’D)
Do you know him?

IEYASU
Saigo? I trained with him at Edo castle ages ago. How is he?

ICHIBAN
He was our commander in the battle. As far as I know he is most certainly dead.

IEYASU
(Nostalgic)
I knew he would become an honorable figure in his own right. He was just so big, as a person as well as a samurai.

Ichiban almost chuckles. He looks over at the katana on the wall. Ieyasu has left the room and Ichiban scoots back down in the bed.

EXT. KAGOSHIMA HOUSE – DAWN

Ieyasu is sweeping outside his house. He hangs up his broom and walks inside.

INT. KAGOSHIMA HOUSE

Inside, he slips off his shoes and slips on some slippers before walking on the wood floor. He goes to the kitchen and starts boiling some water. Meanwhile, we see Ichiban looking at his wakizashi. He traces its blade and slides it under his pillow. Ieyasu goes into the room where Ichiban is resting.

IEYASU
How are you feeling today, samurai?

ICHIBAN
I feel regenerated. Thank you for your kindness. I believe I can get up out of bed now. Could you help me out?

Ieyasu moves toward the bed and sits next to Ichiban, who is sitting up. Ieyasu puts his arm behind Ichiban and pulls the wakizashi from under the pillow. Ieyasu skillfully hides the blade in his sleeve and helps Ichiban stand. Ichiban stands up and suddenly pushes Ieyasu back. His hand darts under the pillow, and his face turns white when he realizes the blade he was reaching for is held by Ieyasu. Ieyasu slides the wakizashi out of his sleeve and flips it around skillfully, testing its balance. He looks down the blade at Ichiban.

IEYASU
You have a masterly crafted blade, samurai. I admire the skill of fine swordsmithing.

Ichiban is silent and backs up against the wall.

IEYASU (CONT’D)
Older samurai schools taught their students to revere their elders. They taught the students that the elderly have much to offer in the form of advice and wisdom. It was taught that the oldest tree has the sweetest fruit.

Ieyasu tosses the wakizashi to Ichiban, who catches it.



ICHIBAN
You have seen through my plans, Ieyasu. I will not be harbored by you any longer. Give me my things and I will depart.

IEYASU
Leaving so soon? You really ought to eat before you set off to see your family.

ICHIBAN
An empty stomach is less to burden my legs and they must be swift.

IEYASU
Haste is not bushido, samurai.

ICHIBAN
You will give me my things, or I will take them, Ieyasu.

IEYASU
I suppose I cannot stop you from doing so, but hear this. You will die with honor, the kami told me so. You will suffer, the kami told me so. The kami also told me, samurai, that you will live and die by your sword. Farewell, samurai.

Ichiban bows his head bitterly and takes his katana and wakizashi. He walks out the door.

ICHIBAN
That old man needs to get off his opium pipe…


I will have a closing posted shortly.

Thanks for reading!

Iron Man

I just saw Iron Man last night. It was a great movie for non comic book readers. I enjoyed even with its inaccurate storyline. Where were Mandarin's rings of power? Why wasn't he even called Mandarin? Why was he a minor character?
Other than the Mandarin issues it was an extremely good movie. Tony Stark's personality was captured extremely well. The fact that they included S.H.I.E.L.D. made it even better. A great actor was used to play Nick Fury. The War Machine references were great.
It is my recommendation that you see it.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

At an auction

At an auction in New York dinosaur dung was bought quickly while a 4.5 billion year old meteorite was not sold. Now I ask you; would you rather buy dung or a meteorite?
I would buy the meteorite. It is an ancient rock that fell from space. Who knows where it has traveled? It has been on our earth for about 4.5 billion years. Who stopped and sat on it or stepped on it over the years?
But the people at this auction bought the very common fossilized dinosaur dung.

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0154364720080501?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=69